It’s ok to acknowledge the presence of sin and suffering, but do not despair!
Here’s a portion:
We must always remember that the Devil is continually trying to choke our soul with the dust of hell, of which there is already too much within us, and which is small and various; and thus, whether your heart be obscured by animosity, or impatience, or irritability, or by grudging your material possessions to your brother or yourself, that is avarice, or by love of gain, or love of money, or by the quarrelsome and offensive words of others, or by despondency and despair, or by envy, doubt, or incredulity, or by open unbelief, or by vanity, or by slothfulness in prayer or in any good work, and in general in the performance of your duty, say to yourself with firm assurance: “This is the dust of the Devil; this is the darkness of hell.” By faith and hope in the Lord, by continual watchfulness over yourself, you will be able, with God’s help, to escape from this dust and darkness. “He that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.” [1 John 5:18]
When you stand praying, burdened with many sins and overpowered with despair, begin to pray with hope, with a fervent spirit, and remind yourself that “the Spirit Itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered!” [Romans 8:26] When you remember with faith this action of the Spirit of God within us, then tears of emotion will flow from your eyes, you will feel in your soul peace, sweetness, justification, “and enjoy in the Holy Spirit,” [Romans 14:17] and you will cry in your heart, “Abba, Father!”
When you are praying, watch over yourself so that not only your outward man prays, but your inward one also. Though you be sinful beyond measure, still pray. Do not heed the Devil’s provocation, craftiness, and despair, but overcome and conquer his wiles. Remember the abyss of the Saviour’s mercy and love to mankind. The Devil will represent the Lord’s face to you as terrible and unmerciful, rejecting your prayer and repentance; but remember the Saviour’s own words, full of every hope and boldness for us: “Him that cometh to Me, I will in no wise cast out;” [John 6:37] and “Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden” — with sins and iniquities, and the wiles and calumnies of the Devil — “and I will give you rest.” [Matthew 6:28]
O, how full of misery, of difficulties, and how grievous is this earthly life! From morning till night, daily, we must carry on a grievous warfare against the carnal passions, fighting against our soul, against “principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places,” [Ephesians 6:12] whose craft and subtlety are immeasurably evil, infernally artful, indefatigable! O, Sweetest Saviour, Thou Who calleth unto Thyself all those who labour and are heavy-laden — to give them rest! Thou seest: our heart and bosom are wasted from this daily struggle and affliction, we are unnerved, weakened, we walk like shadows. Our evil enemies continually vex our souls, and endeavour by every means to draw us into the abyss of despair. Stretch forth, Master, Thy mighty right hand, and deliver us from the snares of the dragon of olden time, the murderer of men. “If any man will come after Me, said the Lord, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.” [Luke 9:22] But who is the daily cause of our cross, our afflictions and distresses? The old carnal man, and the Devil with his continual snares.
Do not be despondent and do not fall into despair when you feel within your soul the deadly breath and ferment of malice and evil, impatience and blasphemy, or any weakness from impure thoughts; but fight against them unremittingly and endure valiantly, calling with all your heart upon the Lord Jesus — the Conqueror of hell. Humble yourself deeply, deeply, acknowledging yourself from the depths of your soul as the first of sinners, unworthy of human fellowship, and the Lord, seeing your humility and your struggle, will help you.